In The Act
by beatles-revelution1204
Summary: She stood there in shock and fear. She was caught. WARNING: swearing and mentions and attempted suicide. Fem!Canada x Prussia


_**A/N: Because the world needs more Suicidal!Canada fic (sarcasm) Before reading this story I strongly caution readers, this is way different than other plots I've written…this si much darker and deals with the issue of suicide. Remember Suicide is never an option, and no one should ever kill themselves no matter what the situation. Thank you**_

In The Act ~

**She stood there, in shock and fear. She was caught.**

It had been a normal day. She awoke after a fitful night of unrest, and dragged herself out of bed. She made pancakes for breakfast, was tempted by the knives in the butcher's block; but restrained and ate breakfast, alone. Kumajiro forgot her name again, but got breakfast anyway.

She then set to cleaning the house, ignoring all of the pills in her bathroom and went on cleaning. When she reached the kitchen she ignored all the chemicals under her sink and went into the laundry room ignoring the large bottle of bleach and finished cleaning her house.

She took a quick shower after cleaning, to get the chemicals off her body. She ignored the razors in the sower as she washed her hair and rinsed off the body wash.

She found herself now making lunch, again trying to ignore the knives. They called to her, no they screamed at her. "_No one needs you, just do it! Why are you waiting? You only suffer more…DO IT!"_

The voice stopped suddenly when her phone rang, she answered it with a quick hello. "'Ello? Alfred, 'ello?" She hung up immediately and felt her back slide down the wall. She hugged her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. She sobbed softly before whispering, "I am no one."

She stood up and made her way to the butcher's block. She found her small pearing knife and placed it on the counter. She then grabbed a piece of paper and her favorite pen before writing her note.

_**Dear…**_

_** To everyone who saw me at one time, I wish you saw more, I wish I could tell all of you goodbye, but you're never here. To Alfred, Annie, Papa, Kuma and everyone else…I'll watch over you."**_

_** Love,**_

_** Mattie**_

She kissed the note, leaving a red lipstick mark and a teardrop fell staining the sheet of paper. She set it down on the counter next to her and with a determined look on her face picked up the knife. But she stood there, the knife held to her wrist trying to make herself push it down on her wrist.

She was so focused on the knife that she didn't hear the door open and the sound of combat boots on her wooden floor.

Gilbert looked at the scene before him. Mattie stood in her kitchen, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to press a knife to her wrist. He took a cautious step forward before speaking, "Birdie, what are you doing?" It was a stupid question, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. She quickly turned toward him, her face showed shock and fear, knowing she had been caught.

Suddenly she turned the knife on him. "Gilbert, let me do this, GO AWAY." He instead took another step forward. "No Birdie, people need you here." She scoffed and shook her head. "No, people only need Alfred. I don't exist. No one needs me." Gilbert took another step forward, trying to get close to the girl. "Birdie, you know that's not true. A lot of people need you. France needs you, England needs you and America needs you." She scoffed again and shook her head, bringing the blade closer her wrist. "It's not good enough, IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" She was screaming by the end of her sentence. She pressed the knife harder and a small drop of blood appeared.

Gilbert had gone through a lot of things; wars, The Holocaust and the Berlin Wall, but in all honestly the single drop of blood that came out of Mattie's wrist scarred him the most. She looked at him, a cold look in her eyes. "Does it scare you? How can you care for me, if you barely know my name?"

He looked at her in shock. "Birdie this isn't you! Snap out of it!" She glared at him and spoke in a slow cold tone. "How could you know me? You don't know me! You barely know my name! Why should I stay when I'm not even here? Why do you want me to go through this hell all by myself? Why Gilbert?" She pressed down even harder, more blood coming out. He felt tears going down his pale cheeks, no this wasn't happening. He cried out in a hoarse voice, willing it not crack. "STOP MATTIE STOP! GODDAMN IT YOU CAN'T DO THIS! ANNIE NEEDS YOU, FRANCIS NEEDS YOU, ALFRED NEEDS YOU! GODDAMN IT MATTIE I FUCKING NEED YOU!" She looked at him as he ran toward her, grabbing the knife out of her hand and throwing it across the room.

Mattie sank down to her knees, as Gilbert wrapped his arms around her and repeatedly kissed her wrist. Finally she squeaked out, "You need you?" He held her against his chest and nodded into her hair. She hugged him and cried into his shirt. He got up and picked Mattie up, carrying her up to her bedroom.

He set her down on her bed and she instantly fell asleep. He smiled down at her before going downstairs to clean up the mess for Mattie.

He wiped up all the blood on the floor and shredded her suicide note. He washed his hands and paced 2 pancakes in the bear's dish before going into Mattie's living room and falling asleep on her couch.

Matilda woke up in her bed, alone and sighed; convinced that yesterday was just a dream. She got up and noticed the sun had just risen. She got up and walked out of her room. She got up and walked out of her room.

She walked slowly downstairs, only to hear German music coming from her living room. Matilda stared in shock at the Prussian sleeping on her couch, clad only in his boxers. She blushed and threw a blanket over him before walking into her kitchen. When she reached her kitchen she saw two uneaten pancakes in Kumajiro's dish and the knife in her kitchen sink.

Mattie looked at her wrist in shock. She had tried to kill herself yesterday…but Gilbert…he stopped her. She wiped away the tears coming to her eyes as Kumajiro came into the kitchen. He sat down at her feet, staring up at Matilda. She gently picked him up and hugged him close to her chest. He pulled back a bit before bringing his paw up to her cheek and speaking, "Canada." She felt herself smile as she placed the bear down on the ground after patting him on the head.

Mattie made potato pancakes for Gil. She was bustling around the kitchen and not once did the knives call to her. She smiled as she finished the pancakes and set them on the counter for later. She quickly went in to living room to check on Gilbert, to find he was still asleep. She smiled slightly at the Prussian and then she noticed Gilbert was sitting outside her window. She quickly went over to the window and opened it letting the cold breeze in. Gilbird quickly flew in and landed on top of her head. "Piyo~Piyo Piyo~!" She let him fly into her hands where she warmed him up, before letting him settle on her coffee table next to his owner.

Suddenly the phone rang in the kitchen. She quickly ran to it, so Gilbert didn't stir and answered the phone. "'ello Matilda?" "Yes?" "Oh! Matilda about yesterday, I'm sorry I dialed your number instead of Alfred's. I guess I shouldn't put your number next your brother's in my book. I hope I didn't cause any trouble." "Of course not Annie thank you for calling me back." With that they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Gilbert awoke to the ringing of a phone. He hurriedly got up; making the blanket that wasn't there last night tumble off. He walked into the kitchen to find Mattie talking on the phone and smiling. He noticed she was just in a white nightgown, so she must have changed sometime during the night. She looked pretty cute in it too. He also noticed that she didn't have her glasses on, making her look much younger. She hung up in a matter of minutes so he figured he could talk now.

"Hey Mattie, how're ya doing?" She was smiling as she turned around and walked towards him. She smiled up at him before lightly placing her lips on his. She smiled as she thought, _'he tastes like beer why am I not surprised…' _and pulled away. "I'm better Gil, so much better." She pulled him toward her in a hug. "Thank you, Gil." He shrugged as he drew circles into her back. "Glad, you're better Birdie, just never do that again, ok? That was fucking scary." She nodded as she walked toward the counter picking up the potato pancakes and setting them on the table.

They sat down and ate in confortable silence before Gilbert ruined it. "Hey, you do know we have to tell your family about yesterday, right?"

_**A/N: I have no idea why I wrote this…just no idea…no I'm not suicidal so this didn't come out of some dream I've had telling me to kill myself. I'm sorry I put you, the lovely reader through this, cause it's depressing. I swear this could be some cheesy soap opera. My better stories will be updated soon along with a few pointless one-shots.**_


End file.
